Written aged 18ish with my sister Juliet Samuel, who now writes for the Telegraph. Check out her work here. To the tune of I Will Survive. We were apparently really into chemistry.

The Carbon’s Triumph

First I was afraid
Just an allotrope,
All alone with excess neutrons
Without any hope.
I spent my time alone
In a gritty charcoal wand,
Then they threw me in the fire
And I formed a single bond!
And now I’m back,
An alkane gas,
And I float around the ether
With a great atomic mass.
With my four covalent friends
And my tetrahedral form,
I have now become some methane
And I keep you people warm.
You don’t see me,
I’m colourless!
I’m an alkane now
And that means I can decompress.
I found my catalyst when Bromine came to stay,
And we reacted,
In a very violent way!
I’m an alkene!
No longer crude!
I’m a form of plastic
And I’m used to package food.
I’ve formed a double bond,
And I’ve got some carbon friends;
We’re an alkene,
I’m an alkene!

[Instrumental]

It took all our energy
How our chain was torn!
Then some O3 trios joined us
And some ethanol was born.
We shared all our electrons
And were happy for a while
An alcohol…
But then we met a lump of coal.
I missed my youth,
My life before,
I’m a chained-up hydro-carbonate
And I want more.
So I waited for a furnace,
Broke the bonds, went off alone,
Then I met some fellow carbons,
And we formed a diamond stone.
I’m a diamond! A diamond….

[Instrumental]